I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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