the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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