absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
