So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
