omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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