she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
