im about as happy as oj after his trial
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
