if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
