I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you didnt know i had herpes?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
