accomplished twins. life is a go
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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