Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
