I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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