She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
