Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
