Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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