ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
