we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
