Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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