My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
