And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
After tacos, we're chasing women.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
