chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
