Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
