fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
