haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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