it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
