We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
