My Higher Power is John Stamos
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
