She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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