I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
