I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I should be sponsored by Trojan
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
