thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
