and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
