I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
