Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
