and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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