look no pants
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
