Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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