We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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