dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
