let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Let's paint friendship bongs
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
