I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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