4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
