More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
did you just send me my own nude
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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