guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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