my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
