Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
