even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize