I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
