i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
