Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
