i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
